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Good Old Days


To day I told my grandson the great changes that have
occurred in my lifetime, from the time when I was a child.


"Look, when I was a kid as you are now, my mom sent me to the store around the corner, with 10 rupees.    I returned with two packs of butter, two liters of milk, a bag of potatoes, two packets of cheese, a packet of sugar, a loaf of bread and a dozen eggs."
 
And my grandson replied:
"Grandfather, in your time there were no surveillance cameras?"
 
***                   ****                      ****                    ****

Other Posts :

When Will Library Open ???

Tiger woods in Ireland

Santa and Banta robbed bank

 

लालू के मजेदार चुटकुले


लालू प्रसाद यादव  अपने हंसोड़ अंदाज़ के लिए जाने जाते थे | खुद उन पर भी उतने ही चुटकुले बनते थे जितने संता और बंता पर यहाँ  उनमें से कुछ प्रस्तुत हैं :


लालू से एक एयर होस्टेस ने पूछा:  आर यू वेजिटेरियन ऑर नॉन वेजिटेरियन?
लालू: आई एम इंडियन।
courtesy : newsyaps.com
एयर होस्टेस: नो, नो सर, यू आर शाकाहारी और मांसाहारी?
लालू: आई एम बिहारी।

...................................................................................

ओबामा (लालू से) - लालू! तुझे स्विमिंग आती है?
लालू- ना!

ओबामा - शिट्ट, तेरे से तो कुत्ता अच्छा है जो स्विम कर लेता है।
लालू - तुमको आता है स्विमिंगवा?

ओबामा - या! ऑफ कोर्स आता है।
लालू - ससुरा, फिर तोहरे और कुत्ता में फरक का है बे!!!

 ................................................................................

लालू ने अमेरिका जाने से पहले अंग्रेजी की ट्रेनिंग ली।

ट्रेनर बोले-
'जब आप अमेरिका जाकर ओबामा से मिलें तो उनसे हाथ मिलाएं और पूछें कि  हाऊ आर यू? मतलब, आप कैसे हैं। इस पर ओबामा कहेंगे कि आई एम फाइन, एंड यू? इसका मतलब हुआ कि मैं ठीक हूं, आप कैसे हैं।

आप जवाब दीजिएगा, मी टू। मतलब कि मैं भी। इसके आगे की बातचीत ट्रांसलेटर संभाल लेंगे।'

लालू अमेरिका गए...
उन्होंने  हाऊ  आर यू की जगह पूछ लिया, हू आर यू! (आप कौन हैं?)

यह सुनकर ओबामा थोड़े सकपकाए, लेकिन फिर मुस्कुराते हुए बोले: आई एम मिशेल्स हज्बंड। (मैं मिशेल का पति हूं।)
फिर लालू मुस्कुराते हुए बोले: मी टू!

...और वहां सन्नाटा छा गया।

.....................................................................................................................
आयावती अपने दोस्त लालू के घर गोट लेकर जाती है।
लालू: ये भैंसवा क्यों लाई हो।
आयावती: दिखता नहीं क्या, गोटवा है।
लालू: हम गोटवा से ही पूछ रहा हूं।

Other Posts :

Answer-100-crore-ka.

Please do not come to distrub me here

Why on foot.?


पतले होने का नया विज्ञापन...


"TV SKY SHOP" का नया विज्ञापन...

मैं पहले बहुत मोटा था . .
लोग मुझ पर हँसते थे . .
मैंने बहुत कुछ आजमाया

लेकिन कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ा मैं सब और से हार चूका था ।

फिर मैंने ".कांग्रेस सरकार" को वोट दे दिया
 

मैं अब कुछ भी नहीं खरीद पाता हूँ
और
अब भूखा मरता हूँ और मेरा वजन भी
बहुत कम हो गया है

थैंक्स  " कांग्रेस  सरकार"मेरी जिन्दगी बदलने के लिए... ..

Prove that 2/10=2


Japanese student : wrong question.
Pakistani student : No Way.
American student : It's strange, how is it possible.
Indian Rajnikant solved it:
Two/Ten = wo/en
(T with T cancel)
w = 23rd letter
o = 15th letter
e = 5th letter
n = 14th letter
So
23+15/5+14 = 38/19=2
Maths ka itihaas hila dala.
RASCALA MIND IT.

Sending a Coffin


America se PATEL ka Email:

"Hello motabhai yaha Rajukaka ki maut ho gayi he bodi kofin me bhej raha hu.
kofin me TAKIA aapke liye he,
jeans ke poket me diamond ki ring bhabhi ki he,

Rajukaka ni bodi me left hath me Rado Watch he wo Nareshkaka ke liye he,

Pav me Rebok shoe parth ke liye he,

Shital & Swati ki Makeup kit Rajukaka ke Shirt me he,

coat ki jeb me BlackbarrY & iphone he.
Aur kuch Mangana Ho To Jaldi batana
Manjukaki bhi Serious he.

ok."
***                    ***                       ***

A  Sardar eats Eight Nans at a party and is suffering from
CONSTIPATION

Praying and crying in toilet:
" Hey Wahe Guru
Ya to Jaan nikal de
Ya Naan nikal de"

 

Four Smart Cats


Four men were bragging about how
smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,

The second man was an Accountant,

The third man was a Chemist, and

The fourth man was a Government
Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
"T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took
out some paper and pen and promptly
drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do
better. He called his cat and said,

"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen
and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of
3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do
better. He called his cat and said,
"Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge,
took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce
glass from the cupboard and poured
exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the
Government Employee and said,
"What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his
cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your
stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......





Ate the cookies........


Drank the milk........


Sh*t on the paper.......





Screwed the other three cats.......


Claimed he injured his back while doing
so......



Filed a grievance report for unsafe
working conditions.......



Put in for Workers' Compensation..........
.......and

Went home for the rest of the day on sick
leave............


 

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY
EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK
FOR THE GOVERNMENT!! 

Other  Jokes :




 

Newton’s 4th law of Exams

According to newton’s 4th law for exams-

   " Every book will continue to be at rest
    or covered with dust
    until some
    external or internal exam moves it!"


.....              ......            .....

The Law Says
“If U Can’t Convince Them             
Then At least Confuse Them”
Do You Know Which Law It Is?

.
.
.
This Is
“Law Of Answering In Examination”


...          ....          ....           ...

First line to write in exams:

“All the answers written below
are imaginary and work of my creative mind.
Any resemblance to text book
is unintentional and purely accidental”



Other Jokes  :

E.T.C.E.T.C.......

China Wall

When Will Library Open ???

Santa Singhji English Lecturer